today i went for my comprehensive exam
i planned a bell pepper soup
but they din have bell pepper
i lucky drawed chicken breast
so stressed when i was doing it
in the end
i did chicken rollard with madeira wine mushroom sauce with snow peas and herb mash
it turned out worst than i thought it would
then came back home
went to swim
to destress
to gossip
to gain knowledge


after yesterday i hate myself
i planned it so well
but i couldnt do it
im not even sure my current plan is working
so dissapointed
my life sux
i hate my life
no matter wad a good day it was today
i still had to keep my tears inside
still have to do my community service
fuck my life

its the last day in charcoal for us today
and we decided to take photos for memory
i will miss the place
my home when i was down in the dumps of my life



the things we do in the kitchen


thats the way i like it


the band of brothers


their the only ones i got
and their the best there is

today i set out
wanting to do something
i thought i would be able
to pluck my balls up
and do it
i couldnt
i waited and delayed
i missed the chance
i hate myself

today was an ok day
gastric pains whole day
bad mood
getting fucked here and there


time to feed babes
tml is my exam
stress is in the air

hope my plan works tml
such a bad mood
and i still have the stress
of the exam tml
i really let myself down
no one to share with but this page
my life sux

i think i slept at 1 plus
dunno wad time i started waking up
cant fall back aslp
my head is hurting
but i kept thinking bout it
tml im gonna do something
something ive never done
i cant help thinking bout it
i cant help worrying
i really hope it works out
i would do anything for it to work out
gonna have a smoke before i try to slp again

tata

just another fucked up day

time to feed babes

how i wish i saw her
i never believed in
horoscope
love calculators
and all that stuff
now i do after wad happened
it said jealousy
it came true
how was i to know
i tried
i just wish to give it a try tml hopefully i see her tml

today i think is the start of the rise
its getting better
today is a good day
something happened
which made me very happy
very very happy
then the day was fun except
my sir scolded me and my friends
for making pasta as in home made
and cooking it
then kena scold
then the day turn sian
then the rest was fun
went to meridien to cut hair
and again notice AGAIN
i went to cut the hair
then i sat down
he asked me how
i say i wan take the sides off
short also nvm
then he zzzhhap
liddat short enough?
i was just about to say
same as the bottom the whole side
then i was like
erm ok its nice
its like fucking short now
then i went to town to study
or more like research
then i went home
went to the gym
then i chiong
there were like 2 boxers inside
skipping rope
they toked to me
they told me they were spanish
so i told them
spanish fly
then they laugh and say i dirty mind
the they tell me im doing too fast
i told them ya
haste makes waste
but i was only stretching
then i tink i sprained my neck
then i went to the fucking sauna
read the news paper inside
then i tanked inside very long
and i when i stepped out
there were like 2 old ppl one old woman
inside the male changing room shower
luckily the door was closed
and there was an old man
and the old woman kept saying
gia towel lai, eh towel kakin
then the old man dan la wu lang
i was like wtf
i think they just finished with sex or something
but in the sauna
i blasted loudspeaker my mp3
maybe their deaf or something
and din know i was inside
and also i think the old woman was a cleaner in the condo
then i went out
i stuffed everything into my bag when i left the toilet
so i stood outside and looked for my ciggerate
then i looked for my lighter
took quite awhile
then the 2 old ppl came out
the old woman say i kaypo
why wait and see who in the toilet
i was like
cibai wa gia hoon ai sio
then she started scolding me
i was like ok shut the fuck up
and if i call the police u can go face ur family and your friends
then i walked off they were like standing there stunned
then i walked back home took a shower and yeah its now
and one more thing
someone added me on friendster
so i msg
hi who are you
then i recieved a reply
hi im doing good thanks
i laughed like mad i swear
ok
well good day at least

time to feed babes
and slp soon
nites

today was the same as yesterday
except today there was an event
i was scolding some idiot
then i shout i pull your mother cibai
everyone look at me
i turn ard my trainer looking at me
like wtf then i scared i just laugh

today i also tried to make a 2 colour soup
red and green bell pepper soup
very happy with results
i kinda tastes like alphabet soup
and im gonna do it for my comprehensive exam
its quite style gonna try it in kitchen tml
gonna slp now early work tml

time to feed babes
nights

if i was a friend of me
i would cry for me
if i knew wad my life was like
but i really think
if there are only ups and no downs
in my life
it would be so fun and everyone would want my life
but the troubles and the hurts
just screw everything up

today was ok
a below average day

gonna go feed my babes
nights

i think im at the lowest point of my life
i dont know why
or wad i did
its really like its not getting worst
but its definately not getting better


thinking my makes my head hurt
so does my heart
i need to fish

today i did my community service
at angmokio libary
tired like fuck
another reason to hate the smelly indians
you know theres like a few types of indians
some are nice some are shit
well today i went to the libary
then i was shelving the books
i was sick
so i coughed quite alot
then i had running nose
then i kept sobbing and coughing
then some indian woman
came and scold me for coughing
i tot she was asking where were the books or something
then i was like wtf
then i scold her she scold me
she complain then she left
then i scold her when she walked out
i shouted ur mother gave birth to you through her ass
then she walk back in
i tink she wanted to slap me or something
then the in charge there
who i was suppose to report to
ask her to leave before she get trouble
its like in ang mo kio libary the doing comunity service
is like those type of ppl
then yeah
i went home then ima go take a nap go to the gym
then feed my babes
tata


everytime i past some places
i still think

today i went to see a doctor
then i went to town to cut hair
then i sat outside the food court
for like 4 hours doing nothing
then ended up going home
and not doing anything
im going to slp
fucked up day today

gonna feed my babes
nites

today wasnt a good day
i dont know if sharing with you made it better
but till i have someone to share things with
this will do
thx though
good luck in advance
i meant wad i said

today i watched
i pronounce you chuck and larry
super funny i swear
its quite a nice show

then after the show
i went down to meet my friends
and we ate at my friends ec
it was ok lah
but everything was sour
sour appetiser
sour soup
sour sherbet
sour duck sauce
sour desert ( helmy make one )
then we ate from 7 to almost 10
then i came home
rested and bathed
so tired

time to feed babes
nite nite

feel sick these few days
still tanking through my make ups
feel like shit
coughing and weezing
i cant even breathe properly
i cant even go into the freezer to get things
cuz i wont be able to breathe
scared to contaminate food
taking 7 medicines at one time

went to work yesterday
then i left after i finished with my staff meal
i went home to sleep
then my friends came over
and we went swimming
i felt much better
then we went to slack in the sauna
then we went back to swim
then we stole a ball
and we played with it
then we went up and played nintendo wii
had so much fun
then had dinner
and they left soon after that

i realised
when im having fun
i dont feel sick
its like when im out
im super tired
but when i sit at my com
i can just go on forever

today im going to work
then when i finished ima go catch a movie
then ima meet my friends at night to go for my friends ec
looking forward to it
cant wait

time to feed babes
and go to work


iit isnt easy for me either
no one knows how i feel now
if i was as sick as this at that time
i would have just left the world
trust me i would

feeling like shit
i still went to work today
i just came back
and i feel so fucking uncomfortable
every cough hurts like fuck
ever sob hurts my nose
its like leaking even when i playing psp

still have to do make ups
still have to plan my community services
still have to go to wake up early for work tml

fucked up life

today i went to work
did my make up
came home rest
not feeling well

i thought back and thought bout my life
i have the most fucked up life there is
i got into the wrong road since sec 2
i smoke
i took drugs
i drank
i have probation for my crimes
i have not been good
i owe many make up lessons for ponning school
i have tatoos
i lost someone
i have a somehow broken family
i just want to change now
i have a chance

if i could redo my life
i wouldnt want it this way
i would not have loved you so much
i would not have commited crimes
i wouldnt have smoked
i wouldnt have went the wrong way
i wouldnt have let my family down
well thats wad they all say once its all done

i dont want to see you go this way
hate me if u want
it doesnt matter to me anymore
i dont need an extra friend
i have the best in the world
i just want to repay you
for wad i did before
i want you to be safe
i cared
you never appreciated anything i did
well your choice
everyone makes their own choice
and everyone makes their mistakes
u said you would take care of urself
you are heck care of urself
i dont blame u
hate me for all i care
i meant well
up to you how you think
and wad you think im doing this for
i wish i could say sorry to them
but i dont want to see them
i miss them
i miss their care for me
i hope everything goes well for u


i have accepted the fact
your accepting the fictions

i sat at home doing nothing the whole day
feed the babes
and time to slp

hope you all will get into trouble
you wont change if u dont
i know ive been through it before
it worked for me
i dont want to see friends get into shit

one day you might get raped
you might fget sick
you might just ruin your life
you might get injured
just hope you dont

here are the photos we took on that day



i was trying to slp in the bright sun



so was he


it was bright, very bright
and there were dragon boaters


greg found a broom


actually he made it


we were bored
he thought it looked nice

i went fishing with greg
cuz aaron couldnt make it
so he stayed over so we could
wake up at 4 to go get ready to fish
then we were fucking tired
so we cannot ton
so we went to set alarms
my mp3, my phone, his phone, my alarm clock
then we made it and woke up
then we woke up
we look at each other like idiots
then we packed up and got ready
then we set off
reached there at 6
was like super dark there
so we wanted to have a smoke first
but the lighter ran out of gas
but there was abit left
so little cant even see the gas
or maybe it was too dark
then rest awhile
then the sun was rising
we started to fish
then we kept spinning
boring then people came
then they went to the other side
then we stayed
then went down to the water
which was very slippery
then we got bored and hungry
we tried to call macs
but they din want to send
so we left at 10
went back to toa payoh shop
then put down things ate
then slack then thought of where to go
reservoir or my house downstairs
then we think very long
then went to my house
then we slack watch aladin
then rest
then got ready
then went down to my house downstairs
we went behind first
we cycled
then we went to the behind and started to fish
then we fish and played and played and fish
then no fish
we went to stadium that side
had some fun
cycling
then we fish and stuff
then greg cycled back to my house
to buy drinks
then he came back
then we sat down eat
then we eat the potato chips
then the wind blow one time all drop out
then we were like beggars cuz the chips we nice
then start picking those that were on top
and those that were big
then we went to fish
then tio sunkok on the stupid china mans bubu
then greg went down then walked over to get it
then do alot shit
then he got out
then we sat down
then smoked
and chat like alot things
then we chat fucking long
toking bout everything
then i we slack
i swear its the nicest place to relac
then we went home had pizza
then he left
and i tink i fell aslp before he left
but yeah
then now i just woke up
and i ate a moon cake with alcohol inside

if any1 knows any1 who can drive boat
or got lobang for boat that not too exx
tell me i wan go boat fishing
if the driver know where got good spot even better

ok time to feed babes
tatas

forgot to blog yesterday
i tink i was too tired
well yesterday i woke at 6
went to work
finished work wanted to do make up
but in the end didnt
cuz stock for salmon came in
and they need scaling and filleting
so i din stay
then i left
and i went to fishing buddy
bought stuff
looked ard
in the end i bought like fucking $34 lure
but quite style
then $16 lure not bad
then small box to put swivels and stuff
bought big box to put my lures
cuz mines too small
then after buying everything
i went to suntec
then bought more weights
to add on cuz like too light
then went buy java chip
from starbucks
then left for home
then i came home packed my stuff
excited bout today and tml
then i went to eat dinner
diet so it was some gua and lean meat and rice
then i slept at 8
i woke up at 3 then i realised i din blog and havent played
yeah
thats bout it
gonna wash up and play with my babes


somehow i dont feel anything anymore

today was a bad day
i woke up at 530
to get ready for work
but i couldnt get up
my back hurt like fuck
i guess im getting old
well i thought of going down
at 10 to do make up also
then i still felt like shit
so i din go
then i went to slp till afternoon
then woke up see if got anywhere to go
then dun haf
so i went to suntec after dinner
alone
to buy add on weights to my dumbbell
then i went and there were like
millions of people at the taxi stand
then i went to the shop
bought my stuff
then i walked ard
then i left for home
saw a fucking indian
trying to be stylo
go put pencil in her hair
like wtf then i cut their queue
for cab lah
then i come home
then i chionged
time to feed babes
night night


big sweet land
eng wah
shilin
royce
soon ill forget
its already in the past

today was i might say an ok day
din feel well since i was sick
but i still went to work
then i felt like shit at first
but as the day went on
and as the day got funner
i felt better
Lan Gui heros huat ar

well after work we went to yakun
and we at the toast and dip
its like toast with a chocolate dipping
wah if everyday eat will tio diabetes
but still very nice
then we chat like from 230 to 530
just sitting at the smoking area

then i left
because according to my tide chart
the tide will start moving at 630
so i went home to prepare
prepared everything i walked all the way
today was shit
not even a bite
and i lost a lure
cuz i try geh siao go cast near the bridge
then tio sunkod
but it wasnt my favourite
then i went ard trying all the spots
then i met a malay man
he very kind
my back pain so i sat down and chat with him
he works at a vessel
then he wear his one piece suit
then i kept chatting with him and din bother fishing
super boring day
he was very nice
then he asked me at the same time i asked him
at the EXactly same time
you wan ciggerate?
then we laugh
then we tok about alot of stuff fishing stuff
then i tried once in awhile
but not even a bite
then i left for home ard 10
then i took a cab home
cuz my back was aching so badly
and i missed the bus
then it gets worst
i reached home and i realised
i ran out of ciggerates
so i sms my mom to buy for me
so now im waiting and im bored
just ate dinner
anyways time for my babes dinner
tata

no point of
freedom
time
if no one to spend it with
well its better than before

today was a bad day
i woke up and i felt like shit
so i slept on
woke up ard 1
then i went to see a doc
and i stopped by at beach road
there got one fishing shop
the choices are not wide
but i bought a few
then i went home
went to gym awhile
chiong like mad
but due to time constrain
because of the tide rise
i did not go sauna
then i packed up
with only my rod and my pouch
i went to the stadium there
the end that i discovered
i went and started fishing
then i tio a few bites
the fishes were quite big
but they din stay till they reached land
so yeah damn sian
gonna try everytime
well at least when the time is right
or at least when the tide is right
then now im home and watching bambii2
like so retarded
ok going to feed babes
tata

today was an ok day
woke up late
woke up at 530 instead of 5
then rushed
but i still only washed up dressed up packed up
and left at 6
then had breakfast
im not sure why
but we were suppose to reach there at 6
well gregs dad had a friend
hes super good at fishing
hes a poor lee kuan yew
then we went to saf yacth club
then we went to bedok reservoir
then we went to seletar reservoir
then we went to eat prata
then we went to toa payoh fishing shop
to buy stuff cuz we had not fished enough
then we went to my house downstairs to fish
wah damn sian
burnt like fuck
then went to corner with aaron
then i got bites and i saw it was a big fish
but it kept runing away
couldnt set the hook properly
then i keep trying
became super tired but i was excited
in the end
i cast at the side hoping for better chance
then tio stuck
on the fucking china dog construction worker
his hand line
wah cibai dulan
he there i sure fuck him
then we went home
at the sea bass we caught tt day
super nice
then went to bath
then they left soon after that
then it was now
i ma go feed my babes
then i go slp

good day good nights

i have decided to continue blogging
cuz i realise there are still friends
and their the most dear
today i went to town
and i found more
played my first game of dota since to long
and we won
then went eat dinner with gregs parent
then toked about tmls fishing trip
well we ate then we left
we left for toa payoh
to look for lures spoons and jigs
took forever to decide which to use
then i left for home
then thought bout things
lots of things
feel so much better
and i went out to get a drink
and all my babes were staring at me
then i looked and i realised
my mom din feed them
so i fed them they were so happy

well time to slp
3 hours to slp and wake up

good day
and
good night

dont worry i take back everything
you will still be my brother from a deffrent mother
and of cuz father
good luck
i just hope u all dont keep anything from me
we are in the same situations
still and forever will be best friends
ecxept it has changed positions 2 times already
nothing in this world shall break us apart
even i die i will bring u 2 down with me

i miss everyone