if only i knew earlier
i would never have came
u dont know how much regret
i have kept my promise
and i will do those 3 things for u
its the only way i can make it up to you
its not enough but for now its all i can think of
so sorry

Yesterday was zoo day
woke up at 6
but slpt at 2
i got no idea why
but couldnt go back to slp
so i slacked
till 10
then i went to wash up
shower
then it was 11
which we were suppose to b there already
so i slowly picked my clothes
smoked one stick
then cooked magee mee
then smoked another
then i walked down
and for the first time
greg and casey were early
well too bad its retribution
i was trying to be late cuz of them anyway
then went down met them
then waited for the rest to came
jothi came 1 hour late
then the time when waiting
some idiot kept saying zoo is near amk
but actually the zoo was near sembawang
then the rest came
and we left for the zoo took a cab
i saw amk and thought zoo was really amk
when passing amk the cab fare was $8
when we reached zoo it was $17
so is zoo near amk?
the idiot even called me when we in the cab
just to say its near amk
then we reached the zoo
wandered ard outside for like 1 hour before we went in
we ate and ate
and we smoked and waited
then we finally went in
then we walked ard and ard
and saw many animals
and guess wad
your not allowed to smoke in the zoo haha
only smoking areas
so we were walking and yearning for a smoke
walked almost everywhere
oh and when we walked in my phone was confiscated
cuz some idiot wanted to take photos
so i din have my phone with me
so i had to have some1 with me all the time
if not i lost cannot find anyone
then we saw many many things
quite fun actually
then after walking one round
it was already 6
so we went out
and thought for 1 hour where to go
in the end we took a bus all the way to amk
and the whole ride
i suffered
i sat beside an indian
which made me cannot leave the zoo
and the seat was at the engine so it was fucking hot
and summore to make it worst
the indian had super long hair
and the hair was disgusting
the end of her ponytail was a ball
and she put it on my seat
so i had to squeeze so i wouldnt touch it
then was super tired
went to amk
walked all the way to find place to eat
then bought ee mee
then sit down
eat abit full already
so the whole bowl i din eat
then slacked awhile
then we walked to cab stand
which took forever again
cuz there was this man with silver paint all over his body
he was dancing
then after like 15 mins we finally walked off
then we parted
and some came to my house
and we slacked and i slept

it was a fun day
apart from the
stupid people
stupid waits
stupid sun
it was great

we shall go to night safari soon
dunno wad to do now
lazy to upload photos
i go find something to do liaozzzz
tata

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!

past 2 days have been fun
there were ups and downs
but still i made the best of it


we shall dance till the sky is bright
today my marshy was running ard the house
cuz i din close the cage after patting it
i saw cuz i was peeping
then when i came out he saw me
and jumped back inside
hes the cutest thing alive

and some poor thing
sick also duwan rest
summore never get to see the beautiful moon


tonight was the shit yall

HWAT THE HELL IS THE
VALLEY OF THE SHADOW
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

good night everyone
merry christmas
tata

ive done my christmas shopping
sad thing is
only can get on the 28th or 29th
but still its ok
still happy with it
going to slp already
din slp since yesterday
amazing how i lasted through today
2 months of not being able to have a good slp
community service sucks
school hours sucks
my 3 weeks holiday is left with 1 week
at least so far we are planning to have fun
community service makes one smoke so much
so so much

time to slp
super pooped
tata

i din slp
at all
yay

this is the photo i promised

guess who is the one who died

looks are decieving

cant mess with my greg and jun2

The twin bodyguards

the way zaad knows how to take a photo

whole group except greg who came late...

The farewell group

JU i miss you already

Last Night was my Last Day
21st dec the day i quit


so sorry
i did so many wrong things yesterdy
i just want to apologise
i shouldnt have done so much
i shouldnt have had you see me in that state
although you took care of me
when i sarted feeling better
i saw you puke
and i was tying so hard to take care of u
but i was really gone
sorry for last night
well at least i did wad i set out to do
to die and to die i did

well it should be ok
since im the devils child in everyones eyes
im trying to change but no one cares
and no one bothers
its ok the devils child will do it himself
even without all your so called "help"
now i know wad people mean by just the cover
even i know how to say but i dont mean it
i still will try Myself

i may not do the right things
but what i say i will do
and i wont go back on wad i told you

there is one thing i dont regret and will never forget
i mind was dead
but i could feel
it was worth it

you were wrong
it wasnt you who wasnt ready
it wasnt you who was being selfish
it wasnt you who was irresponsible
although i believe you wont be anything like her
no matter how much i still want to
you deserve someone much better
i should have been the one who sent you that email
im sorry for everything


ill post the photo of me 10 secs b4 i died later at night
going to find something to do
tata

18th December
the most fun i had in 1 year 5 months and 5 days
i paid
i played
and to everyone who went
Its my treat
dont need to pay me the $10
you all made my night
so did that loser
cant wait for friday




The best is yat to be
but best is not wad yat feels
bad mood
tata

After 2 days of servicing the community
i feel sick again and tired again already
need more rest
need more alcohol
need more music
need something to do
need someone

community service tml again
haiz sick and tired

today was boring
finished exams already
did nothing
ate nothing
played battleship
went to riverine
opened 2 bottle chivas
me, i, myself, wo, orh, aku, wa
$288 burn hole is wallet
but yats wallet always got hole so its ok
finished drinking then came home
slack awhile and hopefully ................
yeah so

going to feed my babes
tata

Exams finally over
need to drink
need to get over it
still cant take my mind off it

today will definately change me
never thought it will
i feel so much better

I tried to pray yesterday
pray for help
i started to tear
after thinking about wads happening
so i stopped and went to sleep

Woke up with a swollen throat
went for exams
wasnt as bad as yesterday
especially after last night
then went home changed
went to marina to buy jeans from zara
bought one normal jeans and one black jeans
then i went to town
went to orchard plaza to alter it
then i went over to meridien
met casey greg they all
then went to wisma
walked, ate
walked back
felt so sick
fever was coming in
throat swelled so much
even when i moved my neck it hurt
couldnt swallow
couldnt smoke
but i still did
then went to monster
played abit then went outside
sat outside food court
stoned till 930 and left home
thought of so many things
though the headache



i dont know how to tell you this
so ill put it on my blog here
at first i thought of it just as a past time
then after chatting with you
i felt totally different about it
i never thought i would want to get into a rs this so soon
especially after wad happened b4 this
but after chatting with you i felt different yet again
only one person knows wad i felt bout u
it was a different story that i told everyone else
he is the person i told u i can 100% put my trust in
i am a person who gets so jealous over small things
but i learnt my mistake from the past
i was able to put it all aside just for you
i was willing to go to church and quit all the bad habbits
i dont have a reason to anymore
maybe you dont know how fucked up i feel
u made me hate something i went for 2 times and was going to continue to go
maybe im just unlucky...
very unlucky.





Maybe Its Gods Will,
But Its Definately Yat's Wont



Never Mix;
Poon
Alcohol
Ciggerates
Shortage of sleep
Music
Late nights

with

Troubles at heart

you'll probably catch a bad flu

tata

Wad a night
exam today was shit again
tml should be the same
just came back from cheekys
drank till my back hurt
head hurt
great night ruined
although it was ruined by the dickfest
i still wanted to have a good time
din have the mood to dance
thinking about it made it worst
but i couldnt stop
just reached home i havent studied
dont think i will tonite
not in the mood to do anything

tata

TODAY IS EXAM!!!
SOON IS EXAM
IT & WSQ
STUDY STUDY STUDY
CANT
TONIGHT GO DRINK!
ALL THE WAY

TILL THE DAY I DIE
I WILL KEEP TRYING TO FLY
WHISKEY IS MADE WITH RYE
ITS HARD TO SAY GOOD BYE
IT JUST MAKES ME CRY
MY MOUTH FEELS VERY DRY
I LET OUT A BIG SIGH
PORNCHAI IS A THAI
THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY
I COULD JUMP FROM SO HIGH
WITHOUT SAYING GOOD BYE
IM NOT GOING TO TRY
IF YOU DO YOU WILL SAY HI
THE MAN IS JUST A BIG LIE
WHY DOESNT HE JUST GO AND DIE


im a wrapper

tata

i dunno wad i did
you wont even tell
it feels like the past
being replayed
it does feel the same


couldnt slp yesterday
i lost my book
i couldnt study
i didnt study
i stayed till 4 waiting
still nothing


today i woke up
had this splitting headache
felt nauseas on the way to school
tried to puke in the toilet
then i went for the test
then i had no idea at all
how to do the paper

i need to study hard
but i cant get it out of my mind