just fed my babes
hope today will be a good day too
ive decided to not blog anymore
since theres no point
no friends to read
ok anyways
as some1 said who cares about now
when theres a future
well i hope there is

i dunno why ur doing this to me
i dunno wad i did wrong
i really wanted to make it right
never had the chance
now ur doing this to me
i dunno wad to do
i give up everything
you them us
i really want to start again
if only u would give me a chance
maybe its because of him
not him him but u should know who
he has been saying things
think i dont know
i know because of so many things
i know many things
because of him
i dont care anymore
i cant care anymore
i dont wanna care anymore
i thought u all were my friends
i thought u cared and toked to me
pity me? maybe
well no more friends to be
just need to find
new friends new life
have fun guys
dont get into trouble

and you take care of urself
dont starve urself
money is meant to buy things
not for hiding or saving

good bye everyone
i miss the old times
really alot

today i recieved info
that the idiot we always whacked
gavin goh the one in the video
told his mother i whack him
till orh ceh tua tua tad
then the mother say want to come down
if it happens again
but he scared like fuck
ask other ppl tell me
well we always treated him as a good friend
better than others much better

anyways
today work was good
very little ppl
very fun
very good people

then i came home late
had whipped up myself a very good drink
very tired from it now
gonna play awhile more
FEED BABIES!!!!
huat arh
ok fuck it
tata

today i woke up
i felt bad
i felt very bad
maybe im falling sick

anyways i woke up
played with my babes
sat at the com
played, looked
then my eyes felt fucking pain
so i went back to slp
slpt till like 5
then it was still the same
so i went to gym
since it was sunday

so i went down
then i went in there were 2 japanese and 1 indian
and so who cares
then i finished with the gym

i went to the mini mart
to buy 100 plus
then i went to sauna
wah today the sauna fucking hot
i swear
breathe also got problem
but i stayed inside for quite a long time
then i finished
damn shiok

then i went to the pool
walked to the table
put down my things
then i lit a ciggerate
then i looked down
there was a fucking cat!
but fucking cute
then when i went into the pool
i looked ard
then i looked at the dustbin
wah got one cat on top
then the cat fucking cute
then i look very long
then got another one come out from inside the dustbin
then another 1 come out
then all sit on the dustbin
all like babies fucking cute

then i come home
which is now
and im going to have dinner
play with babes first
tata

today i woke up
sat at my com
waited and played
nothing to do
i hate my off days
but i still take them

how long do i have to wait
i cant stop
maybe its just a matter of time

yeah right
im sure its true
i dont even know why like that now
i knew they would be a bad idea
and i guess im right
i would like to say something but i wont

fucking cibai
the stupid pacific internet spoil
cibai i cannot use internet yesterday

i went to watch poltergay alone
and somehow they never ask for ic
the show is nice but it would be nicer if it was in english
its a must watch if ur able to watch
then i went to meet my work mates to go eat
my friends event catering is on
so we went
went with my CT my friends
then we sat in a 5 people table
and more friends from rossete came
so we combined into a 10 seat table
then i ate the steam sea bass
it was abit fishy
but still nice
then after that i went home
and the internet was fucking spoiled already
so i went to slp


the whole night i kept thinking
letting my imagination go wild
i thought it still might work out
then i told myself not to be cause
i know i will be bluffing myself
and in the end i will think
and i will be unhappy again
ima go take a nap now
heads hurting
hearts hurting

today i had nothing to do
so i decided to have some family time
and i went wakeboarding with my sis
my mom spectated
had some fun
my sis told me its really hard when first time
but i went one round easily
i was scared
like got ppl looking
then paiseh but i did well
then i went to hk cafe eat
ate xo fried rice and stew beef brisket
very full
bought durian puff and pineapple tarts

i miss pineapple tarts
maybe you dont need
neither do i
but i need someone to make me happy
i dont mind anything, never did

you may never be wrong about a person
im the same
i once knew the best
fillial
kind
helpful
i wanted to make use of
wad i found
wad i had

time to do some cts again
feed babes first

today was a bad day
too many people in kitchen
too little things to do
too messy

came back after work took a nap
watched a little tv

i realise today
that when i stay at home
i smoke alot more
i think cuz im bored

bad day
bad month
bad 3 months
bad year

wish i could sing a sad song just to turn it ard

just wanna show wad we do at work

http://

work, school, mates
got nothing else i have to do
wads else is left to do
nothing

today i had like a stiff neck when i woke up
so i din go to work
then i slept till like 1030
and i told my mom my neck hurts
then she asked me to go back massage
i had nothing to do so i went
went to great world city there
then i went into the shop
the people who work there are visually disabled
but they are very good very nice people
then i sat down on this funny wierd thing
then a man came and do the massage
he was very nice he talked to me
then he began
i was like my god fucking pain
then it he press in with his thumb
wah mad shit
i swear its like getting a tatoo
fucking pain and fucking long
but when he doesnt do that its like damn shiok
very comfortable
then when he massage the arm
wah when he squeeze
ticklish like fuck
but throughout the whole session
i din say anything just tahan all the way
then went to eat wanton mee at crystal jade
good as usual
then i left for home
and i just stoned till now
gonna go to the gym after dinner

going to go feed my babes now
bb every1

today was a boring day
i sat at my computer
for the whole day

just now i went to the toilet
then i did my buisness
and i when i wanted to flush the toilet
then i was thinking of things
then i tried to flush
then i was wondering how come cannot flush
then i look then i kept thinking
how come cannot move i thought stuck
then after awhile i realised
that i was pulling the handle upwards
like wtf

now im going to sleep
and feed my babes first

today was a bad day
so fucking boring
went to work like at 645
then work work
then finish then break
then we had alot of fun toking to the to
and beating up some idiot
then i was so tired
but i still went on
anyways
there was no buisness at all
like till 130
10 ppl came
so boring
then some people left earlier
cuz we din need so many ppl
and i had to stay
till 3
then i went home
now im going to go gym
i din feel muscle ache
so im gonna go again
yupyup

bad and boring day as usual

gym time

today i went to the gym
u know its like
some times when there are other ppl
guys or girls
in the gym
u seem to work harder and longer
for example if theres some1 else
you can only do bench press for 50 you do 70
its something like that
and today i did quite alot
then i went to the sauna again
i think im doing well so far
going to do this everyday
when i dun have muscle ache
yeah super tired

oh yeah and today i went quite late
the toilet was empty
at least thats wad i thought
anyways i had a smoke
before i went into the sauna
i was super scared cuz i kept hearing sounds
then suddenly i got hit in the head by something
i was so scared i squat down and waited
then a voice said you cant smoke in the toilet
then i was like wtf
scared the shit out of me
it was some ang moh who was taking a shit
and i din know lol
they also fixed the sauna door handle

i would say i had a rather good day today

i do and already did

i wont anymore
just need 1 more chance

i dont eat much anymore
not because i dont want to
i just dont have the mood
i cant even force myself

some girls do it for pleasure whoever they do
some guys do it so he knows she wont go

i woke up today
got onto the car
fell aslp and couldnt wake up
i stayed home
lifes like that

morning

morning everyone
time to wake up
time to go to work
tired like fuck
who cares

nite nite

nite everyone
i couldnt sleep
kept thinking

everyday my fingers itch to msg you
but i dont cuz i dont want to be sad
i dont want to wait for replies
i dont want to wait for no replies either
i dont want to disturb you

i still feel jealous
when u tok to others
when u go out with others
when others buy you tings
when im not with you
i hate to

but i want you to know
i miss you
its the 14th today
it doesnt mean anything anymore
you dont know how much i wanted to ask u out
but i didnt because i want to get used to this
i dont want to

i dont want to be like a begger
i dont want to be like a loser
i dont want to be like a maniac
i dont want to be like this

but i am

i watched a 881 alone
i went out alone
i played alone
i spend my time alone
wad can i do

when one is in love



he would love her with everything he has
he would place her in first priority even family and friends and even life
he would be willing to part with anything for her
he would buy her gifts
he would suprise her with romantic things
he would say things that make ones heart melt
he would never be ashamed to do something no matter how shameful it is
he would always be the one to open the door for her
he would let her borrow your shoulder no matter how uncomfortable or how long
he would let her sleep first no matter how tired you are
he would love her and love her family
he would also love her for the things she does and what she likes
he would change to adapt to her
he would meet her whenever he can
he would always be the one who pays
he would always be the one who suffers
he would always respect her
he would always make her smile
he would always keep the smile on her face
he would never put a frown on her face
he would leave the world for her
he would get her whatever she wants
he would quit smoking for her
he would let her have her freedom
he would always give in no matter who is wrong
he would bend down to kiss her and not let her tip toe to kiss him
he would be jealous if other people do things
he would be jealous
he would always say sorry
he would always let her win
he would always protect her
he would cherish the times they have together
he would cherish all the gifts they exchanged
he would be willing to be an idiot for her
he would never think of what other people think of him

he wouldnt be me
thats why im in such a state
i tried to give the best
i really tried to be the best
and your last

but theres one thing im proud i did

yyg
mldxnh
tdmz
jzxh
tys
wrdyj
aqq
tzwdx
xha
nkjdwan
wydn
fdtsc
fdtsc
ktxxdmml
zsyk
xxsgn
xha
nkjdwan
wydn
fdtsc
fdtsc
knxxdmml
zsykxxsgn

hurts
pains
fears
lies
cries
hi's
byes

everynight
just wont stop
i know but
i still want to

time to cts
my daily routine

why do tears still come out
even when ones eye is shut tight

i woke up today at ard 12
then i went to the gym
wah damn shiok
go chiong then go pia
i just realise the saunais fucking useful
but when i was trying to close the door
the handle broke off inside
and i din know how to open
my phone was outside
everything was outside
then i got fucking scared
i shout and i banged the door
then i realise something after i banged it
the door opens outwards
like wtf like an idiot
then i went to have a swim
lots of angmoh without tops
sun tanning
then i dried off
and refilled my salts
with pocari and 100 plus
then i came back took a bath
and now i rest awhile then go east coast
for seafood

every wed every sat i will be going gym
who want to join me tell me


tired
sore
bored
lazy
haiz

i dun really like to wait
especially when i dunno wad im waiting for

i enjoyed my last day
alot
nite everyone
im going to try and sleep

at least now i know there are 2 friends

thank so much J

meet my new friend
click to enlarge

hes holding a fish a carrot
and hes not wearing any clothes
if u notice u can see something
and on the top is his flowery sun

last

today i went out with ven

and i began the day with 850

and for the first time shes early
first we went to ue square
to eat japanese barbeque
which was fucking goood
but also fucking fucking exx
the bill came and was 160
but it was ok
then we cabbed to marina square
we bought movie tickets for rush hour 3
then we went to walk ard
then after that we went back to walk ard
did a little shopping
well not a little
it was quite alot
then we went to have dinner
at xiao long pao
then we bought bits and pieces ard
then she came over
we played with my babies
then something fucked up happen
then she left for home alone

thanks for the day i had lots of fun
i really did

and the day ended with 200

all i bought was

ciggerate casing

paid for food

taxi fare

movie ticket

the rest were spent by

Erham ERHAM

its just like a dream
you know when u are having a fucking good dream
and you wake up and you try to slp and hope
the dream will continue
i will still try and wait

i sacrificed everything
just for the chance and the moment
dont think it will come
but i still will wait

everywhere hurts
i dont wanna be a loner
i dont wanna be a loser
i dont want to be alone
i dont want to be like this
i dont want to grow up fat
i dont want to grow up sad
i dont want to grow up alone

i need a friend
i need a best friend
i need to cry

just had a smoke with my dad
nites everyone

couldnt stop crying till now
maybe because
i can barely open my eyes
nites every1

one
just one
no more

drinking alone
in my room
all by myself

at least i can forget bout everything
for awhile at least

now i know theres no one and nothing left
not you
not him
not them
i had to celebrate this day myself
i hate to cry everyday
wad can i do
i realise i din need to and dont need to say sorry
why does every1 do this to me
i dont think its my fault anymore

u took her
she took all of u
no one took anyone
everyone just left

fuck everything

gonna go drink

if there is still a chance
and some1 tells me
i will definately try
cuz i know there
will be no more flaws
and i will suceed

you tell me to keep trying
and to not lose hope
i swear ill will never lose hope

cuz theres no more hope
how am i suppose to lose any

officially lost everything

damn all these beautiful girls
they only wanna do your dirt
they'll have you
suicidal suicidal
when they say its over

coz we both thought
that love lasts forever
last forever
they say we're too young
to get ourselves sprung
oh we didnt care
we made it very clear
and they also said
that we couldnt last together
last together
see its very define girl
one of a kind
but u mush up my mind
you walk to get declined
oh lord
my baby is driving me crazy

it was back in 06 watching movies all the time
oh when i went away
for doing my first crime
and i never thought
that we was gonna see each other
see each other
and then i came out
miami moved me down south
oh im with my girl
who i thought was my world
it came out to be
that she wasnt the girl for me
girl for me

now were fussing
and now were fighting
please tell me why
im feelin slightin
and i dont know
how to make it better
make it better
your dating other guys
your telling me lies
oh i cant believe
what im seeing with my eyes

im losin my mind
and i dont think its clever
think its clever
your way too beautiful girl
thats why it'll never work
you'll have me
suicidal suicidal

maybe
just maybe
i was wrong
to be nice

i just needed a friend

still going to try
maybe it would feel better
some one once told me
titrudhaf

lone

i dunno wad to do
to do or not to do
bored like hell
lonesome like fuck
i dont know wad to do

i need to find a friend
a best friend who i can tok to
msg everyday
call everynight
i need one soon
very soon

who wants to be

tml will be a long day
slp
wake up
gym
run
swim
slp...again
wake up
stone
work

fucked up life
but if everyday was like this
i would be more skinny
i would be more fit
i would be more strong
notice the "more"

ok nites every1 going to cry to slp again

i knew i wasnt wrong about you
you are and still will be the best
if only things werent this way
if only it was back the way it was
if only...

i lost almost everything

FUCK EVERYTHING
FUCK EVERYONE
FUCK YOU YOU YOU AND YOU

I thought it was a good day today

three and a half hours of slp
6:51

PAST

PRESENT

FUTURE

just when i thought it couldnt
it did

no more xlb
no more shaslik
no more la mian
no more lawrys
no more cooking for friends
no more friends
no more shopping
no more eating till i burst
no more spending money for no reason
no more giving bits of loose change to buskers and beggars
no more having fun buying ppl things
no more chatting with ppl on msn
no more smsing friends
no more friends to sms
no more quiting
no more point to quit
no more cutting down
no more reasons to continue
no more cute romantic little notes
no more stayovers
no more freedom
no more things to do
no more sacrifices
no more need to
no more spending money for others to be happy


too much savings
too much time
too little things to do
too many tears

no more me


good night everyone
time to fuck off

im trying real hard
i will get through
its more tough than i thought

even though its over
and theres nothing left
jealousy still overwhelms
not sure why
trying to forget
some things cant be forgotten

i think its quite a good day
i think so

dont think ima quit right now
i did and i could
but i dont want to anymore

I CANT SLEEP!!!
cant stop thinking
cant stop crying
well its only 4am

i hope its better this way too
i really hope so

i thought i had it tatooed
i just found out it was a henna

maybe its fate as u said
maybe u just dont want it anymore
maybe its me
thats wad they all say
the only thing close to the feeling
of the past is my boster and marshmellow
u might ask why
why dont i go out with them
well its because i din want u to not want u to be sad
when im with them because so far everytime is the same
and their the reason why this is this and now is now
im the worst
time to be alone
i will be alone
i will get used to it eventually
i thought i had another chance
not anymore
i shall change myself
for myself

time to
work hard
earn money
wait to drive
be succesful
find some1 else
have sex
have a baby
and name my baby autumn
Autumn Ip
Yeh Chiu
SUD KE


well bad thngs and good thoughts
it really does help
crying is inevitable

time to play with my marshy

au

alone
as usual
no matter
need to get used to it

fishing

today is my first off day
and i used the time to fish
because i have nothing on anyways
...anymore

anyways i went and i caught 1 pomfret 3 red emperor
becoming black

just bathed and played with my baby
hes so cute
my marshmellow
got no idea how to put a video
so ima get some1 to help me

idwtd

i realise i did something that i was not suppose to do
i wont do it anymore
you dont do it too

i just wanted to hear your voice
i just wanted to see you again
i just missed you

i was happy when i caught the 3 ang gao for u
i wasnt afterwards

time to slp and never wake up

sbdfbasjfbasbsjakksdgas

wad happened to msges
wad happened to attempts
wad happened to calls at night
wad happened to me
wad happened to us
wad happened
why is it one cant keep their tears in sometimes
why am i at this state
why am i complaining
it all adds up ... eventually ... i hope